Unbeknownst to most people, Christopher Columbus knew Ferdinand Feghoot very well. During his first trip across the
Atlantic, their ship was beset by large weevils. While ships have been beset by weevils since the dawn of sailing, these
were no ordinary weevils, and thus the ordinary means of extracting weevils wouldn't work. These were large enough that
their chewing noises could be heard all over the ship. No one got a decent plate of food without seeing one or two of
these in their meal. In desparation Columbus triggered his Feghoot Horn, and Ferdinand responded quickly. He'd been
on vacation with his son Feckless at the time, and so Feckless came along. When they arrived, the problem became
immediately apparent. Chris explained the situation to Ferdinand, including their many efforts to eliminate these large
pests. Ferdinand knew what to do right away. He directed Chris to gather everyone on deck, which, of course, was no
small feat. When they all stood where they could hear the instructions, Ferdinand bellowed that from this time forth, they
were never to speak of the weevils again. They all agreed to let this peice of conversation drop from their small talk, and
he straightly warned them that they could not even congratulate him when the job was done. When they all fully
understood how serious he was, they agreed that if he could get rid of the weevils, they would never mention them again.
So, he then instructed everyone to close their eyes and stop their ears for a full minute. Bewildered at the request, but
willing to try anything, they all did so. To their amazement, when they unstopped their ears there was no more munching
noises. They could not see any of the ugly beasts on the deck, so they assumed the things were gone. Ferdinand
warned them again to never mention the name of those awful creatures, and prepared to leave.
As he was walking across the deck to the family space/time device, Feckless stared at him, with a look of sudden
understanding on his face.
"I get it!" he cried.
"STOP!" Ferdinand yelled, and had to tackle him to get his full attention.
"But, Dad! I finally got one! It's so simple!"
"Don't say another word, or you'll ruin all my hard work!" Ferdinand told him strictly. Feckless looked at him strangely,
thinkinghe must have failed to understand the situation after all, but remained silent as they climbed in the family
space/time device and left.
